you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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