Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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