if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
