it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
