so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is the high leading the old right now
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
