Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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