dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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