i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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