We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
