You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
