i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
