Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
