Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
