Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
