well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
