would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
