I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
