I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
