never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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