We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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