If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
