There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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