everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
