hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize