remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
