what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
being pregnant is like rehab
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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