Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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