that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
