Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize