You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
