This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i barfeds in our rink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
