he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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