Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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