I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
