Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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