She said her name was "party"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
