it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i drank out of a bidet.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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