You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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