Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
