Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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