Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
