carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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