I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize