So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
