you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
