she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
