I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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