I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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