He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
