Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
