oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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