I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
