im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
