you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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