we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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