I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
