This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
