Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
