She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
