Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
