Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize