Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
cat food counts as protein by the way
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will be naked everywhere
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
