You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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