Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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