im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
