I think I died a long time ago.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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