Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
