I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
