Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Holy sore nipples Batman
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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