five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
