38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
