haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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