Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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