I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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