is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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