She said her name was "party"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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