Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize