Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
